Celebrity inspires and gives confidence to those with Aspergers - including me!

Hello, how are things.

Did you have a chance to watch the BBC2 documentary/film with Chris Packham "Asperger's and me". My son, who is on the spectrum recommended it and I was so glad I watched it. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Reviews I found on line said it was "stunning, brave and ballsy, utterly fascinating and incredibly moving".   Absolutely!

I am in awe of all he has achieved in his life in spite of (or perhaps because of )his Asperger's. Being a celebrity and being on camera most of his working life and in the public eye given that he is likely to find social interactions difficult and painful and needs a lot of solitude is astounding to me. I have found that if I am really passionate about something - an environmental campaign I ran, selling Mental Health First Aid to the bosses in my work place - then I can push myself to speak in front of other people but this is a once a year type of thing, not every day.

I am outwardly sociable and am told I can be good company and very funny but I find it exhausting and it makes me anxious to socialise for very long particularly if it involves groups of people. Going to a concert or (in the past) to church, parties, big family gatherings, weddings, funerals, training events, work meetings. I really struggle with them all and find I can be exhausted afterwards often with a migraine and need to head to bed at 6 or 7 in the evening and will sleep for 12 hours or more. I find I just want to shut down my brain completely - no books, no TV, no people. I struggle to say no to invitations and hate appearing rude or unfriendly either by not going or by my behaviour at the event. I don't like upsetting people at all.

But I do admire Chris in the programme. At one point his stepdaughter wants him to come to her graduation and he stands up for the fact he won't enjoy it and doesn't want to go. He also doesn't live with his long standing partner and lives alone in a beautiful, isolated rural location with his dog. He stands up for himself in terms of what he needs and what he finds difficult or painful to do.

He has given me more confidence in protecting myself.  I firmly turned down too many big social gatherings this Christmas. For example I have recently struggled with two new potential friendships going horribly wrong and it made me quite down until I realised that I have enough close relationships in my life - and realised I don't have to push myself continually to make more if it is at such a cost.

Chris had a huge response to his programme. Below is the link to his reply to everyone.

http://www.chrispackham.co.uk/news/aspergers-and-me-thank-you

I love where he talks about people who worked on the programme. "These people deserve more praise than I do . . . all I did was go on, and on, and on about birds, battles, art, cars . . . more birds . . . aeroplanes . . . books . . ."

I agree wholeheartedly with everything he says. In particular that each person with Autism, Asperger's or ASD is different and that we owe it to each other to talk about it. This is certainly a key motivation behind my blog. Even if I help just one person along their journey of discovery it will have been worth while.

I hope you enjoy watching as much as I did.

All the best
Caroline

Keywords: Autism, ASD, Spectrum, Asperger's, Social Anxiety, Wildlife, Friends, Exhaustion, Confidence, Help. celebrity inspire ballsy

fascinating moving BBC inspirational story relationships friendships

My New Year's Wish For You

Wishing you contentment and love in your life in whatever form it takes for 2018

Caroline
x


The photo above is one I took last summer of the Herb Garden at Barnsdale Gardens nr Rutland where I volunteer. The climber in the background is Humulus Lupulus Aureus - Golden Hop. Also in the garden at this time are Artemesia, Rosemary, Sage, Thyme, Mint, Lavender, Bay, Oregano. Its only a small garden but its lovely.




Keywords: Love, New Year's, Barnsdale Gardens,Herbs

An Asperger's New Year's Eve and my gardening New Year's resolution!

Hi again

Isn't the above photo just beautiful!

Being an antisocial and tired Asperger's person new year will be spent going to bed at my normal time of 9 pm, lights off at 10 and putting in ear plugs so we don't get woken up by fireworks!

I particularly don't like what I refer to as "the bongs" - the chimes of bells bringing in the new year.  I feel they say "Bong - that's another year of your life gone", Bong - you're another year older, Bong - doom, Bong... Bong"....   Bah Humbug eh! 

I rarely make a new year,s resolution either but this year I have and intend to stick to it. Here's how it came about:

For most of my gardening life I've prided myself on not spending more than £50 or so every year on my garden. My borders tended to look really good as I had big groups of each type of plant. I did this either by dividing, taking cuttings or spreading seeds from plants I already had.

But since I've started my gardening business, under the excuse that I'm learning about new plants I've been indulging myself with many' many new plants for my own garden. I've spent a lot! I'm not going to reveal how much. The effect in some of my borders is consequentially,  a bit "dotty". Just individual plants on their own all mixed together. Rather like the photo below which I confess is nothing like my garden but is just to make a point.



For the best visual effect multiple identical plants need to be planted together in clusters. So the colour of the flowers or the effects of the foliage is seen to its best advantage. Like the photo below (again not one of my borders - though I wish it was!)

As I've been doing lots of studying this winter I've also realised that I only use one or two propagation techniques on a narrow range of plants. So my resolution is to try different techniques of propagation on a wider range of plants in my garden (armed with my copy of "Geoff Hamilton's Practical Gardening Course") and cluster the plants I grow  for a better effect.

"Propagate not buy". Hopefully I will save a bit of money too!

I'll let you know how I get on.

Take care and happy new year.

Lots of love
Caroline
xxx



Keywords: Cottage Garden Design Asperger's ASD Autism Colour Propagate Save Money Frugal

Molly (our springer spaniel) and her relationship with our sofa!

Molly settled on the sofa

Molly at the end of a good graunge on the sofa.

Hello again. I couldn't resist sharing with you some more Christmas photos of Molly my springer spaniel.

In my first blog about Molly ("introducing Molly") I told readers how Molly was very nervous as a pup due to a deprived puppy hood. The two springers I had before molly used to love to sleep one either side of me on the sofa. This for me was very comforting and relaxing. So.. When I got Molly I tried to encourage her to join me on the sofa - but she would stare in a threatening way, warning bit my had- then try to climb on the back of the sofa behind our heads - she was plainly terrified by it all.

She is now 9 years old - and has come to understand me a little better. We have come to a happy compromise regarding the sofa!

So when I first sit down on the sofa she will jump up beside me and have a little lean on me and accept some fuss and sloppy conversation . Then she always has a a happy graunge - on her back - rolling and kicking her legs out and up and making sure the sofa is well and truly covered in her scent.

We then move on to phase three of her relationship with the sofa - she may settle for a little ( the top and perhaps even have a short dose if my attention is fully on the TV rather than on her.

Then she obviously feels she has fulfilled her duty as my pet and takes herself off the sofa and into her bed. where she sleeps well 

I have come to understand that too much interaction stresses her but that the little that she chooses to have does make her happy (and me !).

All the best

Caroline

x

Keywords: Dog Springer Chair Sofa Cuddle Anxious Pet

Molly, our springer spaniel and the Christmas wrapping paper

Hi - Hope you enjoyed Christmas!

As a family we unwrap our presents straight after breakfast - big kids that we are. Molly gets very excited by this - we have to screw up the wrapping paper in balls - then play fetch with her - she catches them mid air - then proceeds to tear the ball to shreds very quickly - then up she sits watching intently for the next ball of paper to come her way, as you can see in the photo below!

  The top photo  is after all the unwrapping has been done and she is surrounded by paper she has shredded.

I realised (midway) that I might be being a bit mean - occasionally I play a game where I wrap up her dried dog food in layers of paper and she has to rip them up and find each little piece to eat it. So just in case this is what she was hoping for I made sure that  the last ball of paper we threw to her had some dog biscuits wrapped up in it!

She is a gorgeous looking dog don't you think.

Thanks for dropping by
Love
Caroline
xx












Keywords: Dog Springer Game Christmas Pet Spaniel

Christmas on the spectrum

Hi

I do love Christmas - my favourite time is Christmas Eve. We have tea in front of a real fire accompanied by Carol's from Kings.

To keep my anxiety levels down tea is quite simple as follows:

Nice bread - I like Hovis seed sensations wholemeal
Real butter
Hummus
Cherry tomatos
Free range ham or chicken slices
Good crisps
Peppers ready cooked from a jar in olive oil or similar
Chutney
Tapenade.

People can make any sandwiches they want to out of the above at the table.

Ready made Christmas cake and chocolate log
Clementines
Grapes

Pot of tea ( or in my case redbush as I can't do caffeine)

With the tree lit, everyone round the table, the fire and the carols there is always a little Christmas magic about it all.

To keep my anxiety and even depression at bay - I can't have more than a sip of alchohol, have to watch my blood sugar, no late nights, and also make sure that am assertive about only doing so much socialising with the wider family.

There are 15 of us and mum likes us to be all together every day - but as I find this very stressful I have to be firm that I'll be sociable on Christmas Eve and Christmas day but Boxing day is quite and at home.

I substitute lovely spiced apple fruit teas, or earl grey redbush for the alchohol or make a hot spicy drink with apple juice and I don't miss the alchohol. To keep the blood sugar low I have to make sure I eat equal amounts of mince pie and extra thick cream!! Honestly it works. 

Happy Christmas to you all.

x

Keywords: Autism, ASD, Spectrum, Aspergers, Social Anxiety, Depression Alcohol, Caffeine, Blood sugar, Christmas, Stress,

How to make a cottage garden patchwork gift card

Hi

I spent my Sunday Afternoon making a patchwork from cottage garden paintings I found in a book. It was like making my own mini cottage garden but without the backache.

First I cut out a piece of thin card the same size as the front of one of my blank cards. I drew a series of lines on it to make random sized rectangles and squares and numbered each of them.

 

I cut out the shapes and used them as templates to cut out sections of the pictures I like.

I kept the cut outs with their numbered template.

I then glued them on to my blank gift card.

However .... the ideas was that the sections did not overlap but went back together like a jigsaw  - but I went a little bit wrong and around the middle it didn't work. I think perhaps I should have laid it out first - then transferred to the blank card. The ideas was that there were no gaps which I did achieve.

I think I might try this patchwork decoupage as I've fabric patchwork books which will give me lots of ideas of patterns.

Certainly doing a gift card like this is very achievable in a short space of time so good if you have a busy life.

Hope you have a lovely relaxing evening. I'm going a light a real fire, and curl up under a rug with my husband to watch a film.

Take care

Caroline

x