Exhausted on the spectrum

I've read a lot of books written about the Autistic Spectrum and Asperger's and notice that many people with these conditions get exhausted a lot. This is said to be because trying to be "normal" takes so much more effort for us than for neurotypical people.

  I get more tired than everyone I know, including my mum who is 85. It is embarrassing at times. For example recently my sister wanted me to come to a concert with her. It was really enjoying it but at the half way interval (around 9 pm) I was overwhelmed with exhaustion and had to apologise and go home. She was understandably quite shocked.

I can do an energetic things for short periods but tend to need long recovery times.

When I get into a subject - like family history- I can do it for hours and hours at a time with intense concentration - far more than most people can. But then I burn out - it might be months later but then my brain just seizes and refuses to work for me. Not ideal when trying to hold down an office job!

Most tiring is social events - visiting an aunt for a weekend, a family do or similar. It can leave me wiped out mentally and physically for a day or two sometimes which is very frustrating. I think its to do with the effort the drive and the interactions with people take. I need a huge amount of social down time.

A few hours physical activity leaves me exhausted to the point that I just can't even watch TV. I have to sleep that moment and not a moment later, its almost like being really ill and is bizarre. When I get this tired there is no arguing with it, everything just shuts down.

I have to really make myself stop sometimes. I work from home so this is easier than for some. Half an hours break morning and afternoon, a whole hour at lunch, and stop everything at 4 pm (until I have to make tea!). I'm trying to rest properly on Sundays. It does give me more energy for the following week.

I have a wheel suggesting ideas for how I feel and also ideas for fixes. It was given to me by the clinical psychologist who diagnosed Aspergers for me. I don't find it easy to recognise lower levels of tiredness, I just feel I can't cope. I do find this wheel very helpful but I do feel quite thick for not being able to do this process more automatically.

I feel:
Unmotivated
Demoralised
discouraged
Sleepy
Exhausted
Tired

Therefore I need;
Time alone
To take a break
To set time limits on the work I need to do
Rest
Sleep
Watch a light film - escapism
To thikk of my acheivements
Be kind to myself
Be patient with myself

Here is a link I found on the subject

http://adultswithautism.org.uk/autism-tiredness/




Take care
Caroline x

To learn more about me and Caroline's Cottage Gardens please visit my website. https://sites.google.com/site/carolinescottagegardens/

Celebrity inspires and gives confidence to those with Aspergers - including me!

Hello, how are things.

Did you have a chance to watch the BBC2 documentary/film with Chris Packham "Asperger's and me". My son, who is on the spectrum recommended it and I was so glad I watched it. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Reviews I found on line said it was "stunning, brave and ballsy, utterly fascinating and incredibly moving".   Absolutely!

I am in awe of all he has achieved in his life in spite of (or perhaps because of )his Asperger's. Being a celebrity and being on camera most of his working life and in the public eye given that he is likely to find social interactions difficult and painful and needs a lot of solitude is astounding to me. I have found that if I am really passionate about something - an environmental campaign I ran, selling Mental Health First Aid to the bosses in my work place - then I can push myself to speak in front of other people but this is a once a year type of thing, not every day.

I am outwardly sociable and am told I can be good company and very funny but I find it exhausting and it makes me anxious to socialise for very long particularly if it involves groups of people. Going to a concert or (in the past) to church, parties, big family gatherings, weddings, funerals, training events, work meetings. I really struggle with them all and find I can be exhausted afterwards often with a migraine and need to head to bed at 6 or 7 in the evening and will sleep for 12 hours or more. I find I just want to shut down my brain completely - no books, no TV, no people. I struggle to say no to invitations and hate appearing rude or unfriendly either by not going or by my behaviour at the event. I don't like upsetting people at all.

But I do admire Chris in the programme. At one point his stepdaughter wants him to come to her graduation and he stands up for the fact he won't enjoy it and doesn't want to go. He also doesn't live with his long standing partner and lives alone in a beautiful, isolated rural location with his dog. He stands up for himself in terms of what he needs and what he finds difficult or painful to do.

He has given me more confidence in protecting myself.  I firmly turned down too many big social gatherings this Christmas. For example I have recently struggled with two new potential friendships going horribly wrong and it made me quite down until I realised that I have enough close relationships in my life - and realised I don't have to push myself continually to make more if it is at such a cost.

Chris had a huge response to his programme. Below is the link to his reply to everyone.

http://www.chrispackham.co.uk/news/aspergers-and-me-thank-you

I love where he talks about people who worked on the programme. "These people deserve more praise than I do . . . all I did was go on, and on, and on about birds, battles, art, cars . . . more birds . . . aeroplanes . . . books . . ."

I agree wholeheartedly with everything he says. In particular that each person with Autism, Asperger's or ASD is different and that we owe it to each other to talk about it. This is certainly a key motivation behind my blog. Even if I help just one person along their journey of discovery it will have been worth while.

I hope you enjoy watching as much as I did.

All the best
Caroline

Keywords: Autism, ASD, Spectrum, Asperger's, Social Anxiety, Wildlife, Friends, Exhaustion, Confidence, Help. celebrity inspire ballsy

fascinating moving BBC inspirational story relationships friendships